Peace of their mind

Like most parents, I would love for my children to believe everything I believe, like everything I like, and validate and endorse all my infallible opinions and views.

Of course that doesn't happen. In matters of faith, one of my children is close to my beliefs. Close, but not identical. She is investigating many other faith systems; the old “compare and contrast”. My sons are both at the stage where they are deciding if any religion is correct if there is a God, and if there is what is our place in the universe and so on.

Politically, again my daughter is closest to my views. But on some social issues we are miles apart. My geopolitical views are, in some respects, anathema to her. One of my sons is interested in politics but seems to feel that both major parties are corrupt and too partisan to affect any real change in our governmental system. His views rang from moderate to liberal leaning to libertarian to socialistic (he has the Philosophy degree: no easy answers but many questions). My other son seems less interested in politics in general but what views he does hold seem to be more Libertarian that anything else.

Music tastes are all over the place. For the one that likes country another hates it. For the one that likes pop another thinks its boring. For the one that likes classic rock another finds anything recorded before 1999 to be too old-fashioned. And they like many things I find very little interest in; world music, alt rock, classical, metal, and so on.

But, my point is, (and I do have one), is that I am extremely proud of their opinions. I would be very disappointed if they had not come to these decisions on their own. They are all three brilliant, and refuse to accept anything just because they are told to. They challenge orthodoxy. They seek out answers to questions, refusing easy answers and looking behind facile points. Their opinions are their own. As they should be. A strong conviction is based on personal seeking and thought, in some cases deep soul searching. It is not something you can outsource.

We don't argue: we debate. “Because I say so!” is not allowed. You must justify your view. I am usually at a distinct disadvantage at this, as most of my beliefs were formed over decades, but that doesn't make them more valid than anyone else's. And even I, on occasion, change a long held opinion. Even old dogs...

So bless you kids. You make me proud to be your Dad.

However, Neil Diamond is one of the all-time greats! I'm not bending on this.

Worst substitute ever

When I was a teenager I envied my friends' jobs. This was before my illustrious career working at Dick's Bakery. The only jobs I could find were basically summer agricultural work: picking peas, picking cherries, bunching radishes, hauling hay. Nothing that was even cool to talk about. It paid a little but really was only for a few months in the summer.

My friend Joel had several cool jobs. While I was working at the bakery Joel had a job at a gas station. How cool was that? He also had a convertible (I had an old Fairlane 500). Before that though he had a job that I and my friends admired....he had a paper route.

Not only was it a paper route, it was for the afternoon paper, The Deseret News. So he didn't have to get up real early in the morning. He could do it after school. And he was good at it.

I used to ride my bike with him on his bike occasionally as he did his route. He knew which houses to deliver to, where they wanted their paper, and all the other stuff a good paperboy knows. He could make the throw just right. He almost never had a complaint from a subscriber. That was to change, unfortunately.

There came a time when Joel needed someone to substitute for him. For just a few days, as he wouldn't be able to do his route. I am assuming that our mutual friend Neil and everyone else Joel knew were unavailable. You know, people who were dependable and at least semi-skilled. So Joel asked me to fill in for him. I jumped at the chance. It was winter and I had no other options for ways to make money. And without money I couldn’t buy records or comics.

So I again accompanied Joel on his route several times, trying to pay attention to all the houses and the proper places to put the paper. Finally it was time for Joel to go and me to take over.

The first day I went it was snowing so I got my sister to drive me on the route. And I couldn't remember which houses got the paper and which didn't and I couldn’t see their street addresses in the snow. So I gave the newspaper to some houses that shouldn't have it and only some that should have it. I also couldn't remember where they were supposed to go, and my aim was way off when I tried to throw them on the porch, out of the snow. In a bush or into a snowbank was where many landed. And we ran out of papers before we ran out of route. Not good.

Fortunately for me, because of the snowstorm many people just assumed that their paper had been delivered like usual, but was under the snow in the driveway or on the sidewalk. So there very few complaints about non-delivery called in. The newspaper staff had my number to call if someone didn't get their paper, and only a couple of people called. I don't remember where I came up with the papers for them, but I did.

The next day was much nicer, as the snow had stopped and I was able to ride my bike on the route. The bad part is I remembered even fewer of the houses that were supposed to get a paper and where to deliver them. I again ran out of papers early, before completing the route, and went home. That's when the phone calls started pouring in. Since I had no more papers I had to go get the papers that I had delivered to the wrong addresses and take them to the correct houses. I again asked my sister to drive me on the route. I dug out the address list Joel had given me (and which I had carelessly ignored, preferring my great memory) and we went around hoping people had not taken in the papers that were wrongly given to them. Each time I saw a paper on the driveway of someone who wasn't on the list I had to jump out, grab the paper and run back to the car. It must have looked like a criminal endeavor. Then we would drive to one of the homes that had called in and give it to them. We finally finished about 7:30 that night, with many people still dissatisfied with their service.

The worst part is that I know Joel got the blame for my horrendous job. He was their paperboy and he had to go collect each month.

I was never asked to fill in for him again. Wise choice on his part. I eventually got a job washing pans at a grocery store bakery. That was much better suited to my talents.

To the subscribers of the Deseret News, I apologize. To my sister who had to drive me around for hours straightening out my mess, I apologize.

And Joel, I am very, very sorry to this day. Neil would have done a much better job.