The eyes

I looked into his eyes
As he stood in line at the Food Bank.
There was so much to see
His story was there to read, if you looked.

He never spoke to anyone
And no one in the building spoke to him.
It was obviously what he wanted.
He just stands silently; alone in the crowd.

He is neatly dressed
Though his jeans are a little ragged.
His cares don't include his jeans
Many, too many, other things occupy his mind.

No one there knows how
He lost job last year just before Christmas.
No explanation, no justification
Just another person blocking someone else's path.

The job hunt began immediately
Little response and few interviews resulted
But no one ever give a reason
But, in his eyes, you could see what he felt.

Maybe his references were bad
Or it might be his age worked against him
He had passed sixty years
And a lifetime of experience now meant nothing.

The money is getting tight
His unemployment checks have stopped
So he started to use his savings.
That didn't last long and he started to panic.

Several people depend on him
He can't let them down or let them worry
He borrowed from family
But that was humbling and wouldn't last.

He still applies for jobs
Sending the same resumes to the same people.
His hope is fading away
His faith is strong, but doesn't pay the bills.

Some people care about him
And worry that he is giving in or giving up.
But the one who should care
Is annoyed by his concerns and tunes him out.

He feels she blames him
For the plight he is in and the problems he faces
This adds to his loneliness
He keeps more of his hurt and fear to himself.

So now he stands in line
For free food to feed himself and his family.
He never thought this was his fate
And he doesn't know what tomorrow will bring.

So waits his turn, silent
Avoiding any interaction with others.
He doesn't feel he is above them
He instead feels lost and alone, and confused.

He doesn't know how he got here
Or if things will get better or just get worse.
But he doesn't want you to judge him
For he spends all his time, judging himself.

His eyes show it all.
If you only look.

Thoughts While Falling

Thoughts While Falling


You find that its 'into the abyss” as they say
Whoever “they” are.
I am certain that they are not
The ones who fell into the abyss.

They are not the ones
Who went over the precipice
And now have time to think
About anything and everything.

“They” also say that time slows down
At moments like this.
Though, again, how would “they” know
As no one sends back a report from the abyss.

The mind would probably panic first,
Though that is a totally useless action.
There is no need to make a plan
The ending of the fall is already a certainty.

Then will thoughts turn to loved ones?
Those who will miss you
And who you would miss, but won't.
Because, again, the outcome precludes sentiments.

Would you think about your actions
Leading up to the fall?
You can't change anything you did.
And a warning to others is not possible.

Perhaps you would look back over your life
Reliving the joys and sorrows.
But reveling in one's personal history
Seems more likely in the afterlife.

Maybe your thoughts would turn to
What you left undone.
Did you tell anyone know where you put the
Life insurance policy? That would be helpful.

But then you remember that you are falling
So its not really your concern.
Neither is whether the bills are all paid
And if anyone will remember that trash day is tomorrow.

You could think about the fact no one was there
To see you fall into the precipice.
How long will it take for someone to realize
That you were no longer present?

And will they think that it was intentional
Or just poor footing on a rock.
Whatever they decide will definitely impact
The eulogy at your funeral.

Or would you just eventually relax
And “go with the flow”.
The outcome is set in stone, so to speak
So you might as well enjoy the show.